Happy 2009, fellow internet stalkers!
Sorry I haven't posted in more than a month. I really have no excuses, so I'll spare you the bologna sandwich.
Today, I want to do a bit of a human interest post. Hopefully, what I have to say will aid you in dealing with various older men you meet day-to-day (and by older I mean they have 15+ years of existence on you).
In my experience, (and granted, I am a girl) older men respond one of five ways when meeting me: disinterested, pleasant or uncreepily friendly, condescending, angry, or lecherous. I've been known to confuse the last three on many occasions. Perhaps you have as well. This is why I've made up a compare/contrast essay of sorts to help you define whether you should devour his soul in your mind, prepare to flip him the bird, or whip out your Mace (or pepper spray, or taser, or giant wooden club, per your preference).
Today, I want to do a bit of a human interest post. Hopefully, what I have to say will aid you in dealing with various older men you meet day-to-day (and by older I mean they have 15+ years of existence on you).
In my experience, (and granted, I am a girl) older men respond one of five ways when meeting me: disinterested, pleasant or uncreepily friendly, condescending, angry, or lecherous. I've been known to confuse the last three on many occasions. Perhaps you have as well. This is why I've made up a compare/contrast essay of sorts to help you define whether you should devour his soul in your mind, prepare to flip him the bird, or whip out your Mace (or pepper spray, or taser, or giant wooden club, per your preference).
Is He Condescending?
Though infinitely more annoying than his angry and lecherous cousins, the condescending older man is the safest. He has no interest in you other than to crush your spirit, so your physical safety is assured even though you may feel the disturbing need to hug a razor and listen to The Cure for a disproportionate amount of time afterwards. You can often recognize him by the tilt of his head (chin raised slightly and pointing just a few degrees right) as he looks down at you with a fixed, cold smile that's often accompanied by a smirk following one of the many aloof "mm-hmm"s that wills surely flood your acquaintance.
He is like an angry older man because he has a cold smile and generally detached demeanor that could be mistaken for hostility.
He is like a lecherous older man because he will often have his eyes travel over your body. Though it may be uncomfortable to you, rest assured that this older man is only interested in picking out your flaws so that he can have someone to tear down over martinis with his friends later that night.
"Stop breathing my air."
He is like an angry older man because he has a cold smile and generally detached demeanor that could be mistaken for hostility.
He is like a lecherous older man because he will often have his eyes travel over your body. Though it may be uncomfortable to you, rest assured that this older man is only interested in picking out your flaws so that he can have someone to tear down over martinis with his friends later that night.
"Stop breathing my air."Is He Angry?
Depending on whether or not he is under the influence of a substance (e.g. alcohol), if you are in a public or private place, and if there are other normal people present, your physical safety may or may not be in jeopardy. Most angry older men can be stilled with a simple "gosh darn you, now frack off!", but it's always a good idea to have that aforementioned giant wooden club ready just in case. He is easily recognized by the tight smile and clenched jaw or a sneer. It's probable he will seem to have problems standing still (i.e. he will often shift from foot to foot, repeatedly pick up and put down a drink or food, twiddle his fingers, scratch various body parts numerous times, etc.).
He is like a condescending older man because his facial expression will always seem to be toeing the line between overly-polite and offensive.
He is like a lecherous older man because you will get the sense that you just got added to some sort of mental list he keeps.
Yes, if he's pulling finger guns on you he's angry.
He is like a condescending older man because his facial expression will always seem to be toeing the line between overly-polite and offensive.
He is like a lecherous older man because you will get the sense that you just got added to some sort of mental list he keeps.
Yes, if he's pulling finger guns on you he's angry.Is He Lecherous?
You are naked in his mind. He is removing your Levis with his eyes. Though undoubtedly the most mentally and emotionally scarring of the three, lecherous older men are often kept in check from doing any real damage by pesky things like their possible future with a 300 pound, tatted-up cell mate with herpes and a gold tooth. A weapon of self defense is HIGHLY suggested, preferably Bear Mace. Lechers are most commonly recognized by their vague and almost smirking smile, wandering eyes, and languid, overly-helpful disposition.
He is like a condescending man because he will do or say nothing overtly offensive -- rather, his attacks come primarily from body language.
He is like an angry man because he does illegal things in La La Land.
He lives in your closet.
He is like a condescending man because he will do or say nothing overtly offensive -- rather, his attacks come primarily from body language.
He is like an angry man because he does illegal things in La La Land.
He lives in your closet.Until next time (which will be in no more than a week, according to my New Year's Resolutions), stay classy world wide web. ;-)
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