Note to Self:

1. Stupidity is not considered a legal provocation for aggressive action. (Read: no stabbing the people sitting next to you.)
2. It's nice to be nice. (Read: some people can't help being total jerks. You are not allowed to hurt them, so just shine them on. When you get home you can write them all into a short story and kill them off slowly.)
3. Sometimes you have to be your own best friend. (Read: despite what people try to tell you, talking to yourself is not the first sign of insanity. You're perfectly fine. Really.)
4. The teenage years are when boys start taking more pride in their appearance. (Read: those guys in your classes are completely normal. Color/pattern-coordination, hair styling, and . . . um, hip-swaying . . . are all part of the male development. Don't think twice about it.)
5. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. (Read: although you can't understand it, some people honestly do find the Jonas Brothers attractive. But don't worry -- just like the Backstreet Boys, they too will fall out of style. Until then, keep suppressing your gag reflex. Please.)
6. Genius often comes before its time. (Read: the people who misunderstand your writing are just too underdeveloped to understand. You don't need to change a thing about yourself.)
7. Vladmir Putin doesn't know you exist. (Read: no matter what your dreams try to tell you, a 5'5" ex-KGB world leader is not going to hunt you down and murder you. It's okay. Just breath into your hyperventilation bag.)