I've been purposefully avoiding speaking about the election. Yes, color me a bad blogger, but my anxiety level has actually gotten to the point where the mere mention of the Obamessiah winning this election has made me want to slit my wrists with a broken window pane. If it was up to me, in all my infinite wisdom (yes, you should be sensing the sarcasm here, ladies and gentleman), Obama bin Biden would be quarantined on an island in the South Pacific, along with their messages of "Teh One can bring us Hope and Change! Eingkeit und Recht und Freiheit für das Amerikanisch Vaterland! Abstimmung für Obameinführer!" (But honestly, all kidding aside, does it not scare the shit out of anyone else that Hitler's message was "hope and change," too?)
Not that McVain is any gem, either, but he's the lesser of the two evils. And if the sheeple get out of their funk long enough to elect McCain, we'd have Palin in the White House! Wooooot!
But I did not write this for the sake of debating the tickets, because you already know about them and I might be put on suicide watch if I have to think much more about the extent to which McDorkbrain screwed this puppy up. No, instead, I have a proposition:
If Obama bin Biden swings this, I want to declare Wednesday, November the 5th, 2008 National Jump the Border Day. Anyone who does not want to be stuck four years under an oppressive jackass dictator in a socialist republic will mosey on down to Mexico and establish himself as a drug lord. After releasing your anger of Teh One assuming office through corrupting the lives of countless druggies (and don't say "But I'd never do that!" because a piece of Communist . . . um, feces brings out the sadistic, vindictive streak in all of us -- or sucks our souls from our bodies, but badness either way), you jump back over the border as an illegal immigrant, therefore being eligible for Obambi's welfare and healthcare plans!
Oh yes, 'tis quite an amazing plan, I know. Take a moment to bask in the rays of its magnificence.
. . . Okay! Moving on.
For all my Christian brothers and sisters out there on the interweb, keep praying! I'm with you in spirit.
For all the rest of my fellow bloggers, throw darts at the pink elephant of Obama's incompetence.
May God bless this election, and pull us out of the grave this country in intent on digging for itself.
And just remember this when you get random urges throughout the rest of the day to go down to your nearest Safeway and but a pack of razors, crawl into a dark corner, and sob things like, "My life hurts no more than the rising sun hurts the moon.": "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" (Jeremiah 29:11, NIV)
P.S. By the way, in case you couldn't figure it out: yes, Obama supporters, the Demotivator at the top of the post is for you. So siss the feet of your of your Führer and hop in line for your government cheese. You are the cancerous idiots that made this Lemming Apocalypse possible.
2 comments:
I hope what you said about hurting yourself and such was just tongue-in-cheek. Anyway, are you old enough to vote? (Just curious)
Anyway, I'm just going to make this simple: No matter who wins, I highly doubt that the future president will make significant changes.
If McCain is president, then the Congress will probably remain Democratic and that means that the Congress will go against mostly everything that McCain wants to do.
If Obama is president, then there's a good chance that the Congress, in it's next election, will turn into a Republican one.
Anyway, I'm a Virgo as well. :D
Ciao. By the way, nice blog.
Oh, I know the drill:
self harm = bad
It was exaggeration for the sake of example. :-) Unfortunately, I'm not old enough to vote. It's going to be a few years before that dream of mine is a reality.
I honestly want to believe you. It's comforting anyway, to hear that somewhere in the future a Republican (or Republicans) will be in a seat of power.
Oh yes -- Virgo power! XD
Thankees. I'm gonna go over and check out yours.
Buh-byezez.
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