Hairdressers Are the Devil's Lapdogs

I just got my hair cut. It was supposed to be amazing: choppy, layered, very punk-awesome. Instead, it turned out looking like the sick love child of a drunken one-night stand between Jareth the Goblin King and Joan Jett.

I hate hairdressers.

           

Teletubbies Are G

So, I put up a poll about a week ago on the sidebar that I forgot to tell you about. It was about which Teletubbie was the best. Anyway, two of you voted, and Tinky-Winky and Dipsy tied at one vote each (woo!).

What I'm curious about is why? My favorite is totally Laa-Laa -- she seems like the only normal one. I always thought Tinky-Winky was a girl, so when I found out he was, well, a he, it really ruined it for me. I guess Dipsy was my favorite male by default, then.

Next time I do I poll I pinky-promise I'll tell you.

Humanity Annoys Me

Why, when a someone wants to stop being friends with you, does he/she just start ignoring you right off the bat or slowly withdraw from you? Why, if we don't want to hang out with a person anymore, can we not just respectfully tell them so? Are we really all so codependent?

Gah! It frustrates me. :P

I'm going to set up a hypothetical situation for you real quick: 

There are three friends: Gianna, Anne, and Catherine. One day, Gianna decided she wanted to stop being friends with Anne and Catherine. Well, she started hanging out with other people, and Anne caught on pretty quickly. She was hurt, but accepted it. Catherine, however, was in complete denial. Catherine was still inviting Gianna out to events, and every time -- every single time, bar none -- one of these invitations was extended, Gianna said, "Um, okay, I'll try, but I have a lot of homework." But still Catherine persisted, even though she and Gianna hadn't been able to hang out inside or outside of school for months, and Gianna actively sought to ignore her when passing her in the hallways.

Have you ever had a "Catherine" in your life? 'Cause mine is driving me crazy!

Why does life have to be so annoying and confusing?

Note to Self:

1. Stupidity is not considered a legal provocation for aggressive action. (Read: no stabbing the people sitting next to you.)
2. It's nice to be nice. (Read: some people can't help being total jerks. You are not allowed to hurt them, so just shine them on. When you get home you can write them all into a short story and kill them off slowly.)
3. Sometimes you have to be your own best friend. (Read: despite what people try to tell you, talking to yourself is not the first sign of insanity. You're perfectly fine. Really.)
4. The teenage years are when boys start taking more pride in their appearance. (Read: those guys in your classes are completely normal. Color/pattern-coordination, hair styling, and . . . um, hip-swaying . . . are all part of the male development. Don't think twice about it.)
5. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. (Read: although you can't understand it, some people honestly do find the Jonas Brothers attractive. But don't worry -- just like the Backstreet Boys, they too will fall out of style. Until then, keep suppressing your gag reflex. Please.)
6. Genius often comes before its time. (Read: the people who misunderstand your writing are just too underdeveloped to understand. You don't need to change a thing about yourself.)
7. Vladmir Putin doesn't know you exist. (Read: no matter what your dreams try to tell you, a 5'5" ex-KGB world leader is not going to hunt you down and murder you. It's okay. Just breath into your hyperventilation bag.)

You Don't Understand Our Love . . .

Since no one seems to share my fascination with Gary Brunson, I've chosen a new man to be the love of my life:

Isn't he just gorgeous?! 

. . . Yes, I am joking. 

. . . And yes -- unfortunately, that really is man. Bill Kaulitz, singer in the emo, teen pop, and glam rock German band Tokio Hotel, to be exact.

Mom, Dad, I Want You To Meet the Love of My Life

I've met the man I'm going to marry. I'm absolutely, irrevocably, unconditionally in love with him. He's intelligent, ambitious, witty, independent, and charming. 

He's every perfect quality I could ever imagine in a man, such as he is.

Some might say I haven't known him long enough to be so sure of my affections for him, but to hardly know him is to know him well -- he presents his whole self up front and without worrying what others might think of him. He is his own man, and proud of it. 

My whole world has suddenly become brighter. 

A Day Late and A Dollar Short, O-bots

Of all the condescending . . . >:-(

Now that you fascist Democratic frauds got Comrade Obama elected, you're all ready to work together with us "48 percenters", promising to listen, respect, and even -- what a laugh -- "fight for us!" 

All in the name of "unity."

I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.

Gee . . . so in other words, now that you've sentenced us to four years living in a concrete government two-bedroom tenement eating sloppy gruel prepared with the hour of electricity allotted us, we'll all be able to take comfort in knowing that we're at peace with our "52 percenter" brothers and sisters.

Well thank you, Obammunists, thank you so very much, because that was what I was really worried about. In fact, I don't care a whit that you've helped shove me into forced labor while my parent's retirement funds are being stolen by electing a man who couldn't even fork out the dough to pay his own campaign workers. Oh no. Not in the least. Not as long as I'm reconciled with you.

You know, in other times, under different circumstances, I'd be deeply humbled by and grateful for your magnanimity in extending the olive branch in the aftermath of your victory. Honestly.

But considering people sharing my political views just spent the last eight years being subjected to juvenile invectives from you totalitarian idiots, witnessing you lifting your chin and calling people like me Christofascists, xenophobes, Nazis, homophobes, racists, trigger-happy morons, subretarded inbreeds, etc., etc. (and those are the cleaner ones), after listening to eight years of you defend radical Islamic terrorists who want nothing more than to wipe us "infidels" off the face of the planet, calling for our troops in Iraq to turn their guns on their own leaders and high tail it out of there, watching you march in the streets supporting your leftist causes and cruelly shutting us down when we try to do the same, and generally acting like a bunch of amoral, egostical, malicious, and crotchety brats, I'm afraid that I'm just not ready to offer any more in return than a hearty, "Yippee-kay-ay, mother--s!"

You're behavior is a perfect analogy to an abusive parent, who, after eight years of denigrating, undercutting, beating, and generally making life hell for the child, suddenly decides that it's time the two of them "make up and make this relationship work", as if the poor kid had anything to do with the wretched situation in the FIRST place.

When your Dear Leader is blatantly violating our First Amendment rights with the "Fairness" Doctrine, trying to eliminate conservative talk radio from the air, will you be there, protesting in the streets and calling for his impeachment, just as you used to go into full-blown conniptions whenever you thought that someone might listen on on your phone calls back home to Ma, Pa, and Little Tuck?

When your Ascended Demigod Among Mere Mortals decides to enslave citizens into the service of his Obama Youth, directly breaching the thirteenth amendment, will you be ready with pitchforks and torches just as you are when you fight the airwaves, newspapers, and internet, frothing at the mouth and screaming your infantile rants, every time someone starts talking about reinstating the draft? (Which you always manage to pin on the Bush Administration, God only knows how.)

When your Messiah gives the final push to eliminate my Second Amendment right, will you flash up the barriers and picket signs and yell "BACK OFF!", just as you screech into manic fits of derangement every time you perceive a slight to your holy Roe v. Wade, especially considering that my right to bear arms is, as opposed to your "natural right" to abortion on demand, actually, ya know, in the friggin' Constitution?

Somehow, I can't see you doing any of these things, but I'm willing to be proven wrong. We'll see how it goes. If you do manage to pull off being decent human beings for a change, then we can talk about "making up" and "unifying ourselves".

Because you, my friends, are the ones who have a whole heck of a lot of "making up" to do.

Until then, you are cordially invited to all take long walks off short piers, like the subfunctioning lemmings you are.

Hypocritical Obammunist Cow

I'm seeing red.

Of all the sick tactics of the Syphilitic Left, the exploitation of children, in any form, gets me the most riled up.

You can watch the footage I'm ranting about below. Instead of this overpaid, ignorant sow of a teacher actually, you know, teaching, she turns fifty minutes of class into a "Hate Against John McCain" Kum Bah Ya circle.

She does not know how lucky she is that: a) I can't drive; b) I don't own a gun; c) I don't know where she lives. Does it make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside to know that you were able to get one over on a little girl? Yeah, real freakin' cool, you useless piece of fat. Let's step outside, just you and me; I would drag you to the seventh circle of hell and back if I was in your class. Did you notice how she decided to crucify the kid whose daddy is in Iraq, fighting to preserve this lying donkey's freedom, such as it is. God knows Comrade Obama has already enslaved her puny mind.

Wanna tell us who forgot to flush after they squeezed you out, Diantha Harris?

Dis iz Mah Kitteh

It was worryingly hard to find a more modern poem of mine that didn't make me sound like a suicidal high school dropout, so I had to settle for publishing something I wrote for a project in 5th Grade. If you liked reading my failed effort at poetry, then there's plenty more where that golden nugget of "art" came from, so just let me know. (One, an ABC poem, includes a butterfly getting eaten by a spider. I was ten and already killing off characters in my writing. Was there ever any hope for me?)

The above is a video I took of my kitty-cat. Her name is Journey (No, before you ask I did not give her that retarded name -- that was what it was when we got her from the Humane Society. If I were to name a cat, it would be called Spandex.), but I call her: Flinko, Fwinko, Baby, Angel, Lovey, Bubbles, Sweetie-Heart, Babboo (variation of aforementioned "Baby"), Dear, Deary, Deatest, and Amazing Tomato (pronounced AH-mah-zing tah-MA-toe, long story), among others.

She's part Siamese, has big, bright green saucer eyes, is about four years old, and very affectionate. She acted like a Crack Baby when she was a kitten (she crawled up the freakin' chimney the day we brought her home), but she's calmed down to a semblance of normality now. Isn't she just adorable? I friggin' love cats. They're fanatstic creatures.

May I be frank with you? I think cats are better than dogs. They're cleaner, quieter, sweeter, and mellower (yes, it's a word). I know several people who said they would run a cat over with a lawn mower if they ever got one (sicko, sadistic dog-lovers), so I am aware that not everyone thinks felines are God's gift. Not to say I don't think dogs can't be great companions too, but they're just so much work!

But what do you think: cats or dogs? I'm a kitteh funattic mahselfe. (Yes, Lolcats is amazing.)

Poetry Review: Nature's Life

This attempted quatrain from her first anthology, Nature My Way, is symbolic of what she perceived as the cruel and thoughtless mass-producing of harvest that weakens Mother Earth. Albeit, this sort of writing often encourages the anti-greenies to go out and harm the earth for the pure sake of schadenfreude, rather than promote environmentalism, but you can't reason with artists. She would've liked to say that all that glisters is not gold, and just because a wordsmith like Frost was able to fill everything with elegance and imagery while she was lacking in that department, at best, her messages were no less real or important than his. Despite her embarrassingly inflated ideas of her poetic skill, most wouldn't have missed anything if she had fallen asleep in the snow.

Poetry, the Golden Years: Nature's Life

A tiny sprout starting to bloom

The petals' shade of gorgeous red 

The soil is its fertile bed

It now sits in a sunny room

Its life is absolutely gone, there isn't any more

It became a showpiece with no charm

It was taken away from its large farm

And when it wilts, it will become a hanger on a door.

My Mommy isn't a Technologically Inept Old Person!

My madre has a blog! I'm so proud of her! :D Now, if only I could coerce the rest of my family into making one . . .

You should check it out, it's some serious lol-worthy stuff:

http://shannonny123.blogspot.com

In honor of her and her newfound interweb awesomeness, I will do some posts in her style to encourage you to visit her blog. (What do you mean I'm out of ideas and plagiarizing family members under the guise of promotion? That's a cruel thing to say to anyone.)

"You really didn't think I'd make it that easy, did you?"

If anyone gets the reference of this post's title, I will give you virtual cookies until the day I die, because you are an amazing individual. There is a real reason I put the quote in though -- I'm starting something new. Something exciting, fantabulous, wonderful, and shiny.

On the edge of your seats yet? You should be.

I'm putting a quote from one of my favorite movies in every post from now on! If you get the quote, the movie, and the character who said it, I will give you . . . um, something phenomenal. We can work that out later. So keep an I eye for lines that look copyrighted.

This is short -- just a little update, really: I'm not done ranting about politics yet (le gasp).

I know, pretty inconceivable idea, but true nonetheless. I just wanted to take a break from it before continuing so I wouldn't post something I regret, or just do another mindless rant without any substance. I'll give you a political post tomorrow chock full of panache and sarcasm. (You lucky, lucky little lemon drops.)

This ties into my next point: rants. Yes, of course I rant. Blogs are made for ranting. If you don't like this style of bloggery, then please, please, please don't force yourself to read! I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable or bored. It's just a form of catharsis for me so I don't wind up stabbing the kid next to me in math class with a pencil because of all my pent-up anger and frustration.

Thatisall.

A Few Prozac Lolz

Considering Russia won't be taking us over since Obambi was elected (pretty funny story behind that if you ever wanna hear it), I figure that I'm now at liberty to laugh at their Prime Minister:

You have to admit, the man has a sense of humor . . . even if he is nightmare material in every other aspect of his life. I have a bizarre fascination with Putin -- know a good bit about him, too, if you're ever interested. 

Don't Fire Until You See the Whites of Their Eyes

My fellow conservative bloggers, a message to you:

All is not lost.

I know none of us wanted Sen. Barack Obama to win this presidency, but you have to look on the bright side (as you'll have to be doing often these next four years): ladies and gentlemen, this is the first ever black president! America has overcome all prejudice and elected an African-American to the White House. America is still a great nation, where no matter your race, gender, or place in life, you has the opportunity to follow your dreams and find your place in life, according to what you decide is best for you.

These next four years will be a chance for us to regroup, to kick out all the psuedo-conservatives that have gathered around us and purify our pool for the next election. We will be ready when the time comes for us to re-assume power. America will be great once again. These will be years of judgment, but all is not lost. Not by a long shot. America is still the greatest nation in the world -- one man cannot change that.

Not to say it won't be difficult. We'll need to fight, and fight hard, to hang onto what the government will try so desperately to steal away from us: our freedom. This is our country, and I for one will not sit around while it's pulled apart by a bunch of nancy libtards. I kid about jumping the border, but in reality, I'm gonna stay here till they drag me away kicking and screaming to the reeducation camps.

So let's make a promise to make these next four years worthwhile. Let's stay true to God, and to the laws and rights our forefathers lay down for us. Let's gather our sources and pour our blood, sweat, and tears into fighting against this oppression. 

It's this generation's turn to kick commie ass, my friends.

And That's a Wrap

Well, my lovely inky octopuses, it appears I'll be reporting to you sooner than I thought. I was going to give you the result of the campaign (like we didn't all know :P) tomorrow before school, but my friend and I just had a text message conversation as follows:

Obama won

Frack

Sigh

I thot we werent finding out til 1 in the morning tho

No they just called it

Shit. U serious?

Yea

And sure enough, when I checked out CNN live these were the results: 

VOTES NEEDED TO WIN: 270

ELECTORAL VOTES REMAINING: 70

OBAMA: 323

McCAIN: 145

It's not like this was a surprise, though. I'll admit, McCain could've won -- really, he should've. If he had taken off the kid gloves after the Republican Convention and gotten to the nitty gritty of the issues, shown Obama for his true colors, and played it out like a real conservative, he would've stolen the election. But it was almost as though some driving force -- subconscious, maybe -- was leading him to do all the wrong things, just so he would lose. The man has an ego the size of Texas, a crap campaign, and the Obamedia was too busy licking the feet of Teh One to spare a good word for McVain -- there was no way he could've won with all these forces conspiring against him.

And any conservative who thought otherwise was pulling the liberal card of "if we ignore it it'll go away and then we'll win." Da Nile isn't just a river in Egypt.

It was nice knowin' ya, free America. Gimme a kiss goodbye.

English Class Cheated on Me

I was going to avoid the election until tomorrow, because I knew if I paid attention today I would act like a PMSing Chris Crocker. 

And guess what: I was right. More on that below.

Turns out, my English teacher had different plans for today. She decided that we should spend 30 minutes today following the election (through blogs, TV, or other means) and jot down our thoughts on it. I spent my 30 minutes in the seventh circle of hell, and now you can share in the misery. Here are my notes:

v    6:42 pm McCain just lost Ohio. He now has 124 electoral votes, and 49% popular vote. Obama has 199 electoral votes and 50% popular vote. Why do we need to have electoral votes? The conservatives might actually have a chance of winning otherwise. But California still needs to be tallied in, and that would undoubtedly tip the scale in Obama’s favor. Well, it will anyway, I suppose. I’m barely literate right now. Fear has me in a haze.

v    6:49 pm Obama has 19,480,495 popular votes, while McCain has 19,184,965. I just posted on my blog about the election. It’s helping me to think clearly again. So many people my age just don’t understand how important this is. I’m so scared, and my dad just banned talking politics in the house, so I have no one to be comforted by.

v    6:52 pm Popular votes: Obama – 20,822,014; McCain – 20,414,522. It doesn’t look like there’s any chance for McCain to pull through now, especially with California still off the charts. I was holding onto a sliver of hope. It was just incinerated. I hope these next fur years aren’t quite the hell I’m envisioning.

v    6:55 pm Popular votes: Obama – 21,110,153; McCain – 20,650,932. Christians will be under attack. We’ll just have God and each other soon. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or bad.

v    6:58 pm Popular votes: Obama – 22,190,557; McCain – 21,624,493. There’s a family that goes to my church that I baby-sit for sometimes A very nice family, really. They’re liberal. I’m sure they’re voting for Obama. I don’t think I’ll be able to baby-sit for them anymore. I can’t be in that close proximity with someone who caused this. I know that sounds hateful, but I can’t help it. The whole situation just makes me so friggin’ mad I could spit nails.

v    7:01 pm Electoral votes: Obama – 206 (Oh God, he only needs 64 more); McCain – 135. I think America’s under judgment from God. In the Bible, when a nation was under judgment, it was given bad leadership. We had Clinton, Bush, now Obama. Nuff said.

v    7:04 pm Popular votes: Obama – 22,635,152; McCain – 22,017,149. I’m actually getting teary watching this. Can the libtards even comprehend what they’re doing to us? We’re gonna have another freakin’ 9/11. My dad has a friend who converted to Christianity from Islam named Daniel, and Daniel said that all the Muslim terrorists he knows consider Obama to be “their candidate.” Not to mention the fact that Obama continuously voted against trying to protect infants of live abortions. Even Hillary Clinton voted for that. What do these things tell you? The man is a tool for the devil. He’s sick.

v    7:09 pm I have three more minutes until I can stop. I can’t take this any longer. I developed a headache a while ago, I feel like I’m going to start crying, and now I feel nauseous.

v    7:10 pm My connection just timed out. I can’t watch it anymore. 

All of that is original, folks. My really real view while watching McDorkbrain's downward spiral. Right after I wrote that I went down to dinner and had an emotional breakdown at the table. The flip side of that is now all the negative chi is out of my system, so my headache's gone and I'm feeling more positive. Still . . . things aren't all ladybugs and rainbows, ya know?

I'll try to post later with more covering the election, but I need to take an immediate break from it.

You want to know the saddest thing about this though? No, I'm not talking about the fact a pansy-ass lying weasel  is going to head up our nation. I'm being infinitely more selfish than that. No, the saddest thing is that I used to love English class. I trusted and adored it's vaults of knowledge and creativity.

I feel betrayed by it.

Like . . . like . . .

Take this analogy: I have a dog named Ginger. English class is Billy "Blowjob" Clinton, who has a dog named Imalyingscarybastard.

I feel like Ginger just went and had puppies with Imalyingscarybastard.

. . .

I'm sitting at my computer, keeping tabs on CNN's live election results.

McCain just lost Ohio. He has 124 electoral votes, and 49% popular vote.

Obama has 199 electoral votes, and 50% popular vote.

And I just realized, "Oh my God, Obama is really going to win this election."

It didn't sink in before now just how serious this situation is. 

Look around America, you're under judgement.

Look around libtards, your Golden Boy is a tool of punishment.

Oh my God.

What have we done?

My Muse is PMSing

Have you ever had those days, weeks, months, where anything and everything creative (whether it be in writing, music, or simple conversation) not only eludes you, but beats you back with a hot poker? 

Oh yeah, that's where I am right now.

I feel especially horrible, because my life is so dependent on the left hemisphere of my brain, and my little funks have never been quite so bad for quite so long. *tear* 

And have you ever noticed that these creative depressions, such as they are, always hit the day you need your wit about you the most? Like in class, when you're sitting next to this really hot guy, and he talks to you -- under normal circumstances, you'd be able to make him smile, maybe even laugh, but today he looks at you as though you're a retarded penguin who just sprouted another beak. Then, you think of the most amazing line ever that would've been perfect to use about fifteen minutes earlier. So for the rest of the afternoon, you mentally prep yourself for your encounter with him the next day -- and you think you've eluded The Funk -- except he isn't there when you show up. That day, or the next day. And when you finally do see him, he sits across the aisle from you, so you can hear his voice, and see the back of his gorgeous head, and study his strands of silken hair, but have no opportunity to redeem yourself, forever cursed to be thought of as an illiterate, banal platypus.

Ah, darn you to the hottest rings of hell, Left-Hemisphere Glitch!

Of course that's a hypothetical situation, why do you ask? o.O

For the sake of the world at large, let's pray that my muse and vocabulary return to me soon, hmm?

Obambi vs. McVain (or, May the Good Lord Save Our Sorry Asses)

I've been purposefully avoiding speaking about the election. Yes, color me a bad blogger, but my anxiety level has actually gotten to the point where the mere mention of the Obamessiah winning this election has made me want to slit my wrists with a broken window pane. If it was up to me, in all my infinite wisdom (yes, you should be sensing the sarcasm here, ladies and gentleman), Obama bin Biden would be quarantined on an island in the South Pacific, along with their messages of "Teh One can bring us Hope and Change! Eingkeit und Recht und Freiheit für das Amerikanisch Vaterland! Abstimmung für Obameinführer!" (But honestly, all kidding aside, does it not scare the shit out of anyone else that Hitler's message was "hope and change," too?) 

Not that McVain is any gem, either, but he's the lesser of the two evils. And if the sheeple get out of their funk long enough to elect McCain, we'd have Palin in the White House! Wooooot!

But I did not write this for the sake of debating the tickets, because you already know about them and I might be put on suicide watch if I have to think much more about the extent to which McDorkbrain screwed this puppy up. No, instead, I have a proposition:

If Obama bin Biden swings this, I want to declare Wednesday, November the 5th, 2008 National Jump the Border Day. Anyone who does not want to be stuck four years under an oppressive jackass dictator in a socialist republic will mosey on down to Mexico and establish himself as a drug lord. After releasing your anger of Teh One assuming office through corrupting the lives of countless druggies (and don't say "But I'd never do that!" because a piece of Communist . . . um, feces brings out the sadistic, vindictive streak in all of us -- or sucks our souls from our bodies, but badness either way), you jump back over the border as an illegal immigrant, therefore being eligible for Obambi's welfare and healthcare plans!

Oh yes, 'tis quite an amazing plan, I know. Take a moment to bask in the rays of its magnificence.

. . . Okay! Moving on.

For all my Christian brothers and sisters out there on the interweb, keep praying! I'm with you in spirit.

For all the rest of my fellow bloggers, throw darts at the pink elephant of Obama's incompetence.

May God bless this election, and pull us out of the grave this country in intent on digging for itself. 

And just remember this when you get random urges throughout the rest of the day to go down to your nearest Safeway and but a pack of razors, crawl into a dark corner, and sob things like, "My life hurts no more than the rising sun hurts the moon.": "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" (Jeremiah 29:11, NIV)

P.S. By the way, in case you couldn't figure it out: yes, Obama supporters, the Demotivator at the top of the post is for you. So siss the feet of your of your Führer and hop in line for your government cheese. You are the cancerous idiots that made this Lemming Apocalypse possible.

Proposition 8: California Marriage Protection Act

For those of you who live under a rock (or in another state or country, as the case may be), Prop 8 is the "California Marriage Protection Act" that, if passed, will amend the California State Constitution by adding these fourteen words: "Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid and recognized in California." The voting to pass or reject this proposition will happen on November 4, 2008.

Since nothing concerning politics can be unbiased, I want to give this disclaimer before I go any farther: if I could, I would vote "yes" on Prop 8. Onward and forward!

First, let's get some facts:

• FACT: In 2000, California voted "yes" on the legislation to define marriage as being between a man and a woman.
• FACT: In May of 2008, four San Francisco judges overturned this legislation, ruling it unconstitutional.
• FACT: According to Section 297 - 297.5 of the California Family Code, domestic partners have the same benefits, protection, and rights as heterosexual married couples.
• FACT: Massachusetts is the only other state to legalize same-sex marriage, having done so in 2004.
• FACT: In 2006, a second grade teacher read her class "King and King," a story about two princes getting married. When parents objected, courts ruled that parents had no right to be given advanced notice that their children would be learning about gay marriage in schools, nor could they pull their children from class.
• FACT: In 2006, Catholic charities ended its adoption work in Massachusetts after more than 100 years of service, because the state's anti-discrimination laws required adoption agencies to place children in same-sex homes.

Okay, so there are a few things to bring you up to speed. From here on, my own personal opinions will be intermingled with facts. You have been forewarned (unlike the parents of second-graders in Massachusetts). After reading that, my question "Will the allowing of homosexual marriage in California affect me?" was answered: yes, it most certainly will. While I tolerate homosexuality, I do not accept it (i.e. dictionary definition of accept: "believe or come to recognize (an opinion, explanation, etc.) as valid or correct"), and I do not want it to be forced into my everyday life.

One thing I am very confused about is the arguments of "No on Prop 8" supporters (all taken directly from their website):

• Prop 8 is Unfair Regardless about how you feel about this issue, we should not eliminate rights for any Californian. Prop 8 would mandate, under the laws of our state, that one group would be treated differently from everyone else. That's just unfair.

I feel like the kid in Live Free or Die Hard. "Please tell me they're just here for show and aren't actually in charge of anything." First and foremost, Prop 8 wouldn't eliminate any "rights"; as I stated above, domestic partnerships are equal to marriage under California State Law. Furthermore, "No on Prop 8" seems to be laboring under the delusion that marriage is a right, when in fact it is a privilege. You need a license to marry someone, just like you need a license to drive a car or carry a gun. You do not exit the womb with the inalienable right to marriage, driving, and bearing a firearm. These are things you need to go through a legal process to be allowed a permit for. In any case, the whole thing is BS and not worth analyzing, because the fact is, homosexuals are allowed to marry. If a homosexual man and a homosexual woman wanted to receive a marriage license, they would be given it. The state allows that. Marriage just has to be between a man and a woman and mutually consenting. It has nothing to do with orientation. Besides, groups of people are treated "unfairly" all the time: twelve-year-olds are not legally allowed to drive cars, sixteen-year-olds are. Unfair would be if not every sixteen-year-old (granted that he is not blind, crippled, etc.) was not offered the same chance with the same test to get his license. Unfair is not the fact that twelve-year-olds are not permitted to drive a car. Twelve-year-olds and sixteen-year-olds; same-sex marriages and heterosexual marriages; apples and oranges.

• Prop 8 is Wrong Prop 8 is fueled by special interest groups that have engaged in a deceptive campaign. The government has no business telling people who have been together for years that they can or cannot get married. In California, we let people decide for themselves what's best for them. We believe in freedom to make choices without government interference. Prop 8 is wrong for California.

I'm frackin' speechless. Honestly, I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry at the sheer level of retardation these people put forth. I'm going to have to answer each contradicting claim separately so that my head doesn't explode. 1) It's strange how "special interest groups" has come to mean "anyone not on our side of the fence." There are plenty of perfectly average citizens out there -- on YouTube, on blogs, on sidewalks -- that are saying "yes" to Prop 8. And does "have engaged in a deceptive campaign" sound painfully bad-Cold-War-era-spy-movie-synopsis to anyone else? By the way, this so-called "deceptive campaign" would be better called "deductive reasoning." But more on that later. 2) In that case, then the government also has no right to tell a man and his dog, a brother and sister, a pedophile and a little girl, or a group of polygamists that they can't get married. Do we really want to introduce and legalize those choices in America? 3) The title of their argument is "Prop 8 is Wrong," and yet they still say "we let people decide for themselves what's best for them." What? Those two statements exist in a dichotomy. In California, we also like to decide for ourselves what's right and wrong, not have some government-approved, wolf-in-sheep's-clothing moral compass shoved down our throats like some freaky communist dictatorship, thankyouverymuch.

• Don't Buy Their Scare Tactics Proponents of Prop 8 are twisting the truth. Top educators like Superintendent Jack O'Connell and California Teachers agree that Prop 8 has nothing to do with schools. Public schools are required to teach nothing about marriage. Separate facts from fiction. Get real answers about Prop 8 >> Every Major newspaper opposes Prop 8. Find out why >>

Here's the "more on that later" part. What I have found with liberals is that when you give them an inch they take a yard. (If you are somehow unaware that it is, in fact, the liberal agenda driving this proposition, you know now.) 1) Schools don't have to teach about gay marriage now, but what about in a year? Fifteen years? What about in sex education? They're teaching safety about heterosexual relations, and if same-sex marriage is legalized (making homosexuality "normal") then homosexual sex safety will legally need to be taught too -- and sex ed is mandatory to graduate from a public school. There are more weak and easily refuted points like this if you follow the link. I already know why every major newspaper opposes Prop 8: because it falls in line with their flaming liberal agendas.

That is Prop 8. I've given you my analysis of it, and now it's time for yours; I have some questions for you that you can answer in your comment:

1) Do you agree with Prop 8? Yes or no, and why or why not?

2) Do you think passing Prop 8 would be unfair? Yes or no, and why or why not?

3) Do you think that California saying "no" to Prop 8 would open the door to bestiality, incest, pedophilia, and polygamy? Yes or no, and why or why not? If yes, do you think this is wrong? Why or why not?

I'm very interested in hearing some feedback on this. As I've made clear, I'm a strong supporter of "yes" on Prop 8, but I would like to hear the other side's view on it . . . as long as it's supported with facts that actually hold up under the most minimal examination.